How the Body and Brain Discipline Each Other

It seems obvious at first, but the implications are profound. You hear a tragic story; your body reacts: a slower breathing, blinking, and heart rate come about. If it’s dramatically tragic, you may begin to tear and choke up. The “brain” aspect of you heard a story, and directed a set of reactions in your body. Alternatively, it is now commonly known that if someone is in a terrible mood, they may forcibly smile and slowly their mood will turn around. If you’re thinking quickly in a stressed state, forcing yourself to stop…and take a series of slow and deep breaths: your thinking will slow down and become more concentrated. So we may say that the body may discipline the brain, and conversely, the brain may discipline the body. The implications of these experiences run against long-held views of how the brain and body exist with each other.

Historically, the modern age has held a dualistic view of the whole human being. The distinction is drawn between the body and the mind, which stems from the division of matter and of thought. Thoughts do not have weight, they may not be measured, and they are “inside of our minds”; vis-à-vis we cannot point at them. Matter does have weight, can be pointed at, and be observed by many people at once. Thus in the 17^th century, the philosopher Rene Descartes separated man into two realms; one of matter and one of thought, meaning, one of the body, and one of the mind. His metaphysical treatise on the human being reigned until recently, with philosophers such as Wittgenstein, Heidegger, Dewey, and Bergson, having shown so many problems with Descartes’ metaphysics, that it is no longer a seriously considered view. In the last century, neuroscience and other disciplines have renewed Descartes’ distinction to a division between the body and the brain; allowing for a mistaken reconsideration that the brain and body are two mutually exclusive and independent things that “are human.”

Thus the otherwise commonsensically apparent view that the body and brain may discipline each other actually runs contrary to how many people foundationally view the human being today. Scientific research affirms that thinking positive or negative thoughts physiologically affects the body. Contorting the body, as in Yoga, alternatively affects the thinking process. Concentrated meditation improves the meditator’s sense of focus, mental clarity, and impulse control.

The old view of the human mind, that it is a passive receptacle of perceptions or sensations, that it is a theatre with things flying by on the stage, that it is emanating from the brain and somehow magically apart from it; these are the abject views of the human being. This is not to say that thoughts are necessarily reducible to matter, as the tendency often is today. Nor is it to say that matter is thus reducible to thought, as ancient Hinduism contends. For now, what we can say is that the mind is not of a different process than the body, and the body is not a different process than the mind.

So what are the implications of this in the realm of body language?

We may speculate on a few implications of this thinking in non-verbal communication. It would provide the proper conception of the mind and body to explain why the incongruence of verbal and non-verbal messages do not provide a strong, clear, confident, and effective communication. If someone does this, their body and their mind are in conflict, of course a clear message becomes difficult to attain. Based on studies of smiling improving one’s mood and of slowing one’s breathing to calm stress, we may extrapolate that manipulating your body language may affect you overall. Meaning, if you consciously attempt to train yourself to have an open and confident body language consistently, you will be more inclined to feel more open and confident overall.

Here’s an explication: we unconsciously smile at good news, and so if we’re in a bad mood and consciously smile, we may improve our mood. We unconsciously keep our bodies open in comfortable situations, and so if we’re in an uncomfortable situation and consciously attempt to open up the body, we may improve how we feel. That is, we may become more comfortable.

Attempt to seek out how we have the old conception of the human being (stemming from Descartes’) stuck in our thinking. Most of us do, including this author! By correcting this conception, and allowing in a new one, we may find new ways to view the human being as a whole. These new ways allow for progress in how we understand ourselves; thus giving us tools to improve ourselves. One such tool, as we have seen, is properly correlating verbal and non-verbal communication.

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5 Tips on How to Effectively Lie

Author: Andy Khazanovsky

Lying is an unfortunate consequence of life. By itself, it means simply to not tell the truth. Though not telling the truth seems to be a poor decision, lying may save someone’s life in the end (E.g. A terrorist asking where the president is hiding). Lying, in and of itself, is not necessarily a bad thing. Thus, one must learn how to detect lies for obvious reasons, but also one must learn how to effectively lie as well.

Techniques of detecting lies provide a clue as to how one may learn how to effectively lie. While many liars are detected by the content of what they’re saying, for example through contradicting themselves, one may feel like someone is lying based on something else. Usually that something else is their body language – the unconscious actions we do when we lie to someone else. By learning the body language and respective gestures which give away a liar, one may avoid these body language cues when attempting to lie. This would align the liar’s verbal message and non-verbal message; thereby effectively reinforcing their message overall – true or not.

The easiest and most effective way to learn what others really say, think and feel!

Here are five quick tips as to what gives away a liar, thus what one must avoid to effectively lie:

• Closed hands: When you close your hands, you are being defensive by trying to protect your palms. Do not clasp nor rub your hands together, as this communicates that you have something to defend, protect, or hide!
• Locking ankles: Locking ankles, wrapping your legs around one another, and keeping your feet off the ground, all indicate defensiveness and a non-confident answer. While these gestures by themselves do not give away a liar, when they are considered in context, they are considered to signal a lie.
• Creating a barrier: Using a briefcase, a cup of water, or even a stack of papers to create a barrier between yourself and another person are gestures communicating defense. They close the body off and communicate that you’re not open, confident, and trustworthy. Alternatively, keeping an open body allows the other person to build trust in you.
• Poor eye contact: Maintain eye contact! It is very common for people to look away when they’re lying or are in an uncomfortable situation. Looking upwards usually indicates that the person is coming up with what they are saying. Meaning, they’re not telling the truth – otherwise they wouldn’t have to come up with anything.
• Covering your mouth: Suddenly covering your mouth is a sign of stress. We instinctively cover our mouths when we’re unsure of what we’re saying, being defensive about what others are saying, or when we know we’re lying. All of these are indicators of a liar.

By avoiding these common gestures associated with lying, we may learn to effectively lie. Keep in mind that these gestures, in and of themselves, do not indicate a liar. However, imagine a person who is rubbing their hands nervously, sitting back in a chair with locked ankles, maintaining very poor eye contact, and when you ask them a question, they lean further back and cover their mouth with their hand when they reply. This does not communicate an honest person. Sitting upright and slightly leaning forward with open hands resting on the table (fingers pointing out), shows a confident body and hand position. Paired with a good lie, this person becomes an effective liar.

The Hidden Power of the Smile

Smiling directly influences how others respond to you. The human brain prefers happy faces; it recognizes them faster than faces with negative expressions. In fact, research shows that if you smile at someone, it activates the “reward center” in that person’s brain.

It is also a natural response for the other person to smile back at you.

It seems that smiling is one of the most basic universal biological factors within the human condition which has a measurable effect on our overall well-being. It is probably one we acquired through evolution in order to get along with others.

Julia Roberts -  The Oscar winner is still one of the highest-paid actresses in the biz. All she has to do is keep her larger-than-life “accessory” with her and she is surely to stay on top of her game.

A natural smile (which involves muscles around the eyes, unlike a fake smile) produces physiological feedback that makes the person smiling feel happier. Someone watching another person smile will involuntarily mirror the smile.

Even on the phone, when you “hear” someone smiling back at you, it makes you feel happier. Thus a feedback loop kicks in as the body produces neurochemicals correlated with happy feelings.

 For example, research published in the journal Political Psychology used automated face-recognition technology to create a “smile index” for politic candidates’ faces. The study found that a greater “smile index” correlated to a greater vote share for Australian candidates in the 2000 and 2004 elections, smiling increased vote share by 5.2 percentage points in Australia.

Body Language Cards - The easiest and most effective way to learn what others really say, think and feel!

A Handshake Can Make One Believe that They Are The Most Important In The World!

The ritual of the handshake is powerful and a highly effective way to establish rapport with others. Most of the time we do it unconsciously and it profoundly affects our relationships.

Here are five tips on how to shake hands in the business environment:

1. Make sure your right hand is free to shake hands, shift your briefcase or cell-phone to your left hand before you shake the other person’s hand.

2. While you are shaking hands, look directly into the other person’s eyes and smile. When releasing the hand do not look down.

3. Don’t use the upper handshake; keep palm-to-palm handshake.

4. Hold the other person’s hand a few fractions of a second longer than you are naturally inclined to. Doing so will, quite literally, hold the other person’s attention while you exchange greetings.

5. It’s OK to touch the other person’s elbow, this conveys additional sincerity and warmth.

Creating eye contact: At Hurricane Katrina Recovery in 2005, at the Houston Astrodome, the former President Bill Clinton master making people feel that at this moment they are the most important person in the world.

The Body Language Cards kit was created as a self-learning and training tool by experts in the non-verbal communication field and are based on the flash card methodology. Q-cards send a signal to our brain that it’s a game and not another bulk of information that we have to learn and therefore the information is more effectively consolidated. With flash cards much of the information is integrated in additional brain areas, those involved in habits acquisition.

It’s the easiest way to learn and retain body language gestures and enhance non-verbal listening skills!

“Because our body speaks louder than words!”

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Five Interview Don'ts

Reblogged from Kimberley Vassal Insurance Services, LTD.:

Much of the information that we communicate happens non-verbally via subtle signals we put out with our posture, gestures and attitude. It’s no surprise, then, that your success in a job interview depends quite a bit on almost everything except what you actually say. Recently, WiseBread explained the most common body language mistakes people make in interviews and how to avoid them.

Read more… 375 more words

Why Face-to-Face Interactions Are Much More Effective

The world became more and more virtual with all the alternative communication means we use every day. We tweet, email, have global conversation calls and we are all overwhelmed with messages, emails, texts, tweets, updating our LinkedIn and Facebook profile, and we live in the illusion that we’re actually having meetings, yet nothing beats the power of a truly personal relationship, face-to-face connection. If you think about it, when was the last time you truly earned a client only because you had a great post on LinkedIn?

In a face-to-face interaction you can truly listen to your client and understand what he or she really need opposed to any other communication via the phone or email.

Don’t get me wrong, a phone conversation can open doors and give you the first incline if you are on the right track or wasting your time yet real close interactions with your colleagues or clients can be built only through personal interaction, where you can truly get to know each other and we all know well that our stronger business relationships were built when we met and talked face-to-face.

In a face-to-face meeting we get the chance to read the body language of our colleagues and clients; their body, tone of voice and facial expressions often communicate so much more than just words. Studies show that only a small percent of our communication involves actual words: 7%. In fact, 55% of our communication is visual (body language and facial expressions) and 38% is vocal (pitch, speed, volume, and tone of voice). Therefore the face-to-face interaction is much more effective.

In a face-to-face interaction we can support our verbal message with our body language, for example, the former President Bill Clinton was known as a very capable public speaker.  Much of what he said in his speeches was communicated with hand gestures.  Gestures are a very powerful way to amplify one’s intentions in public speaking.  They also serve as a channel to bring the audience into the speech (which Clinton excelled in).  This is also one of the reasons why Clinton’s supporters or even non supporters believed what he said at the time.  His gestures aided his overall credibility.

In a face-to-face interaction we smile, the smile has a huge impact on meetings’ result. A smile is an invitation; a sign of welcome. Smiling directly influence how other people respond to you. The human brain prefers happy faces and recognizes them faster than those with negative expressions. In fact, research shows that if you smile at someone it activates the “reward center” in that person’s brain. It is also a natural response for the other person to smile back at you.

Nothing beats the power of a truly personal face-to-face relationship, and it’s much more effective in creating stronger relationships.

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The Body Language Cards, a simple, easy, and effective way to learn the secrets of body language, to know what others really think and feel and  improve communication and life skills.

 

 

 

The Eyes Can Tell You A Lot

People are much more of an open book than they are aware of. Body language can tell a great deal about what is going on inside ones thoughts. One of the most easily observed, yet widely unnoticed aspects of body language is eye movement. Our eye movements are often a reflection of what type of mental processes we are engaged in.

The following illustration depicts the major types of eye movements and their significance.

If you are chatting with someone and they keep looking to their right, laterally or upward, they are likely engaged in imagination or fabrication.

If they look to their left, laterally or upward, they are likely engaged in recall of an actual experience from their memory.

Looking downward generally signifies internal dialog. Eyes down and left signifies internal auditory dialog.

Eyes down and to the right signifies internal kinesthetic dialog.

Give it a try… it really works!

Why cards?

It’s the easiest way to discover what others really think and feel!

The information in this field is organized mostly in books, which is amazing taking into consideration the fact that it’s a visual mode of communication, and the crucial thing is to have the visual memory of the movement in mind when one encounters the relevant gesture.

Cards send a signal to our brain that it’s a game and not another bulk of information that we have to learn. People like to play and thus the information is more effectively consolidated.

By flash cards much of the information is integrated in additional brain areas, those involved in habits acquisition.

It’s also a very easy way to practice and repeat the information which is more complicated with other means.

To purchase the kit with 10% discount use coupon bodylanguageexpert

www.bodylanguagecards.com

Gender Differences in Body Language

Often we are asked if there are gender differences in body language. In the past 20-30 years, the conventional perception was that  in general, women are more communicative than men, both literally and with their body language. Today, the gap is blurry.

Women and men express the same body language positions, gestures and facial expressions, that’s why it’s called body language. It’s a matter of communication, if there were too many differences we couldn’t have called it ”language”.

It is very crucial to look at a cluster of gestures pointing at the same direction and not only at one gesture before coming to any conclusion, it’s as if we are listening to one word out of a whole sentence and assume we understand it.

Even today, in modern life, there are slight gender differences in the extent and duration of gestures, yet the distinction requires more training and experience than learning basic body language.

Examples of a slight gender differences in extent or duration of a particular gesture:

1.   Everyone stroke their hair with their fingers  – in women, the duration is slightly longer.

2.  Men and women will both bite their lower lip in times of stress, lick their lips when sensing dry mouth or  attraction, in women though it’s more observable because it is a bit more frequent and sustained.

 3.  Women are capable of tilting their head longer than men while listening to others, perhaps because they concentrate more on the verbal communication’s details which creates the whole picture. You can see an example of this situation when two men sit at a restaurant table, they usually will sit facing each other.  Women, will often sit side by side.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

4.   Women and men blink frequently when they are interested in the conversation. With women it’s just more obvious and noticeable to the eye of the observer. It could be because of their makeup.

5.   Men and women tend to surround themselves with little things such as phone, keys, etc. Men do it more to the front to mark frontal boundaries while women tend to put things on their side, perhaps to “protect against harassment,”

The most noticeable differences in signals are seen in dating:

In men: the signals are simplistic - legs apart, more hair stroking, they stare longer at the woman, they play more with objects, more self-touch (more  means more than usual, not more than women), hands tucked in belt toward the pelvis, opening a shirt button, and hands in pocket.

In women: Body language is far richer - lower the shirt sleeve,  play longer with their hair, emphasize thighs movements, more licking lips, more  legs crossing exchange, they will remove their feet from shoe, more stretching to enhance their chest, keep legs apart.

To purchase the Body Language Cards kit – The Easiest Way to Master Body Language visit  the Amazon Store: http://www.amazon.com/Body-Language-Cards/dp/B006DMBVJI/ref=sr_1_17?ie=UTF8&qid=1326911375&sr=8-17

For more information on Body Language visit www.bodylanguagecards.com

Job Interview – Success or Sabotage?

Did you know the human body can produce over 700,000 unique movements? These movements have been partitioned into approximately 60 discrete and symbolic signals and around 60 gestures, postures, and expressions.

A great amount of the job interview is conveyed by non-verbal means. You did all the homework for your interview, you know everything about the company, their vision, management style, what skills you have that would benefit the company, where you expect your career to be in 10 years and you know all the correct answers to 249 interview questions, but at the end of the day what really counts is the main question: did you have good chemistry? Can they trust your message, and what can you do in order to make sure that they will?

We polish our verbal skills for an interview, but only few of us give much attention to our non-verbal communication and body language skills to support the verbal messages we deliver and could make the difference.

Tips for the interviewees

When entering the interview people tend to create an imaginary barrier to protect themselves, like holding a bag or a piece of paper. To the interviewer this means insecurity.

Avoid making the upper hand handshake. This may indicate a need to dominate. Make sure to maintain eye contact.

If interviewed by several people, identify the decision maker. The others will glance at the decision maker after they are done talking. It is almost an uncontrolled gesture looking for approval. It might be a very small glance.

Under stress people instinctively tend to protect their main artery. In modern society it is manifested by touching their tie or playing with a necklace. To the interviewer this mean stress.

The interviewer may reveal a need for more information by putting an object in the mouth such as a pen or the tip of the eye glasses.

If the interviewer puts his fingers together (pyramid-like), this may indicate an attempt to “connect the dots”. This is a good sign.

Another good sign is when the interviewer is rubbing his hands together. This gesture indicates satisfaction.

Listen with your eyes 

The eyes are often called: “The windows of the soul”, as they can send many different non-verbal signals.

Eye contact often increases significantly when listening, and especially when  paying close attention to what the other person is saying.

Less eye contact is used when talking, particularly by people who are visual thinkers, they stare into the distance or upwards as they ‘see’ what they are talking about.

When a person makes very little eye contact, they may be feeling insecure. They may also be lying and not want to be detected; it also could be as a result of Coulter behavior.

Why cards?

With the Body Language Cards you will master body language, you will be able to know what others feel and think on the spot.

Mastering the secrets of the body language might be complicated. Body language is a visual mode of communication – you cannot learn it just from reading – you need to see it. The Body Language Cards do just that; they flood your consciousness with the visual gestures and connect it to its meaning so you can retain the information and use it in real-time situations.

Most important: It works!!!

The Body Language Cards are used as an integral part of professional body language courses; a method   used in the training of executives, sales forces and professional security personnel and in colleges to enhance students presentation, leadership and interview skills.

www.bodylanguagecards.com

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Meet Gill Shermeister – One of the Co-Authors of the Body Language Cards

Trained as a zoologist, Gill became fascinated by the similarities of basic mammalian behaviors to those of humans and  spent the last 18 years investigating this field.  He is a key-note speaker in well-known corporates and organizations on non-verbal communication, leadership, presentation and public speaking as well as training executives, negotiators and politicians.

Gill shares his professional secrets in this unique tool to master the secrets of Body Language.

Unspoken Body Language Clues

Body language is a mysterious and unspoken way people unconsciously communicate what is really on their mind and when many are either unsure of, or reluctant to openly communicate their intentions, relying on their body language could tell you what words do not say. Remember, body language by itself only tells part of the story you must blend it with the psychological level and behavioural style, and then attempt to get a better context reading. It must be taken in the context of the situation and prior relationship you have with the person, as well as the person’s behavior and culture style.

Having said that, here are few typical, well-known descriptions of certain types of behaviors you should be aware of to provide clues to what is on your interlocutor mind:

Honesty

· Open hands
· Leaning forward
· Taking coat off
· Moving closer
· Uncrossed legs
· Arms gently crossing lower body

Eagerness

· Small upper or inward smile
· Erect body stance
· Hands open, arms extended, eyes wide and alert
· Lively and bouncy voice, well-modulated

Defensiveness

· Minimal eye contact
· Rigid body
· Arms or legs crossed tightly
· Pursed lips
· Head down with chin depressed toward chest
· Fists clenched
· Fingers clenching crossed arms
· Leaning back in chair

Anger

· Fists clenched
· Body rigid
· Squinting of eyes
· Lips closed and held in a tight thin line
· Continued eye contact with dilation of pupils
· Shallow breathing

Readiness

· Leaning forward in chair
· Hand placed mid-thigh
· Relaxed, but alive facially
· Standing with hands on hips, feet slightly spread

Evaluating

· Slightly tilted head
· Sitting on the front portion of chair with upper torso forward
· Hand-to-cheek gesture
· Stroking chin or pulling beard

Nervousness

· Clearing throat
· Hand-to-mouth movements
· Covering mouth when speaking
· Tugging at ear
· Darting eyes
· Twitching lips or face
· Mouth slightly open
· Playing with objects or fidgeting
· Shifting weight while standing
· Tapping fingers
· Waving foot
· Pacing
· Whistling

Suspicion and Secrecy

· Failing to make eye contact or resisting your glances
· Glancing sideways at you
· Rubbing or touching nose
· Squinting or peering over glasses

Rejection and Doubt

· Throat-clearing
· Hand-rubbing or ear-Touching and rubbing nose
· Squinting or rubbing eyes
· Arms and legs crossed
· tugging
· Raising eyebrow

Confidence and Authority

· Resting feet on desk
· Leaning back with hands laced behind head
· Proud, erect body stance with chin forward
· Continuous eye contact with little blinking

Needing Reassurance

· Pinching the fleshy part of hands
· Biting fingernails or examining cuticles
· Gently rubbing or caressing some personal object — ring, watch

Frustration and Disturbance

· Tightly clenched hands or shaking fists
· Hand wringing, rubbing back of neck
· Controlled short breathing
· Blind staring
· Running hands through hair
· Stamping foot

Boredom and Indifference

· Head in hand
· Relaxed posture, slouching
· Tapping foot, fingers
· Slack lips
· Blank stares, little eye contact
· Doodling

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